Only War Lasts Forever

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5

 

It had been 15 weeks since Andi had arrived on Hell. There hadn’t been a single moment where he found himself regretting what he had done. All day everyday he was yelled at constantly, and whenever he complained about something being difficult, no one stopped to help him. He wasn’t a masochist, but he felt invigorated like never before. Being told to stand on his own two feet without someone helping him up was something he’d been wishing for all of his life.

Still, Andi did miss home. He missed his aunt and his uncle, and the comfort of being in a familiar place. He also missed spending time with Jaan, who had been his closest friend and pretty much a brother to him all of his life. Andi often times found himself reflecting on the past when he didn’t have 18 hour days filled with physical conditioning, strategic aptitude tests, combat training, and scant meals. Those were the days when Andi knew he had been babied, yet he still let it persist. He knew that if he were still home and had not joined with HDGA, he would have continued living his pampered life and felt a general discomfort with doing so.

Nowadays, Andi was being forced to do things he never would have been even politely asked to do before. Every day before the crack of dawn, the drill instructors would wake the trainees up with a flurry of vulgar insults and angry threats of ass-kickings. Everyday after this awakening all of the recruits would be forced to march almost 50 kilometers round trip and then forced to do several hundred exercises that changed depending on just how sadistic the instructors were feeling.

Of course, this was only the first few hours of Andi’s day. The whole day was filled with things that Andi never imagined he would be able to do. Actually, he hadn’t been able to do much of anything at first. In the beginning Andi consistently was forced, by the sheer exhaustion of his body, to drop flat on the ground and pass out. The instructors would yell at him until he got up. Or at least, he thought they yelled at him. He was never sure exactly what want on during the time he had basically fallen asleep. For all he knew, they could have picked him and played a game of toss the unconscious guy and Andi would have been none the wiser.

From time to time, Andi had seen Jaan in another group. Andi was put in with group 5, so he didn’t get to see Jaan much. The recruits weren’t given much off-time, and when they were, they were confined to their quarters. Occasionally when doing physical exercises, Andi would catch sight of Jaan and his group. When Jaan first saw Andi he waved to him, but Andi didn’t return the wave. He had not wanted Jaan to come, and he certainly did not want to admit to his fellow recruits in group 5 that his cousin had joined along with him so that he could keep an eye on him.

Andi sighed. Even though he wanted to avoid embarrassment, he still felt bad about ignoring Jaan. He was after all his cousin, and they were very close as children. He regretted at least not looking at Jaan and giving him a smile. Though Andi told himself that he was upset that Jaan came, deep down he knew it was nice to have a familiar face in such a strange, hostile environment. He even sometimes wished that he could show off to Jaan all of the things he had learned how to do since he first arrived. However, the thought of having learned to do such great things was often marred by the knowledge that whatever he was learning, Jaan was learning also. He knew that still there was not much in the family that made him unique. Not much that made him unique…

A soft thump came from the bunk underneath Andi, followed by a voice, “Hey Andi, you still awake?”

Andi had a bunkmate named Plith. Plith was an understanding and thoughtful person. He had been Andi’s friend since their meeting on the HDGA ship on Fondain IV. They had shared a bunk together inside of the HDGA ship for a few weeks before coming to Hell. Plith wasn’t exactly the most ambitious man Andi had met, but there was no doubt he was capable.

The thump came again. “Are you awake?”

Andi considered not answering him, simply because he was supposed to be asleep. He wasn’t able to sleep because tomorrow was something that all of the recruits had been waiting for. In fact, he was certain that nearly none of the other recruits were asleep. He doubted even Jaan was asleep.

Andi leaned over. “Yeah, I’m awake. What is it?”

“Is tomorrow on your mind?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure what to expect. I mean, tomorrow is very big for everyone.”

Plith smiled, or at least Andi thought he did. It was hard to tell in the dimly lit long hall they called their sleeping quarters. “I am too. I wonder if they’ll keep us together still.”

Andi had considered the possibility of getting a different assignment than Plith. However, he had reasoned that such a thing probably would not happen. “I don’t know. They must have known that because we spent a good deal of time in the same room together, the room on that ship, doubtlessly we would become good friends, or at least well-versed acquaintances. It wouldn’t make much sense to split us up now.”

Plith shook his head. “I know what you mean, but tomorrow is the skill aptitude test. Tomorrow we show them what we’ve learned and what we’ve become good at doing. If you and I score differently, then we might be placed in different places.”

Andi had considered that, but he knew that Plith was wrong. He’d already figured out why they kept two people together for so long without contact with the other recruits. Obviously, there would be camaraderie among the soldiers, but the HDGA had implemented a method that would mean the soldiers would have even tighter bonds among each other. This way, there would less chances of any single soldier getting any ideas of deserting or turning traitor. The other soldier with whom the first soldier had spent time with would be able to persuade them away from such thinking.

Of course, Andi knew that the reasoning had its flaws. If it turned out that both of the good friends had thoughts of desertion or treason, then neither would be there to stop the other from running away. In fact, they would only encourage each other to run, and they could do so together. Regardless though, the chances of two potential traitors being paired together were slim to none. Andi saw that the structure and protocol was well thought out and he respected that.

Considering Plith’s comments, Andi responded, “The chances of us scoring differently is likely, but we’ve proven ourselves in the teamwork assessment tests. We’ve proven that we work well together. When they consider our strengths and weaknesses, I’m sure they’ll look at those tests too.”

“I hope you’re right, Andi.” Plith replied.

 

After a restless night, the morning came slowly but surely just as it always did. However, something was different. The drill instructors hadn’t burst in at the crack of dawn yelling about how it was time to get to work. Instead, they had let the recruits sleep in. At least, whoever had been able to fall asleep. Andi was not among those few, but he wasn’t tired. The anticipation of the biggest and final part of the training procedure was enough to ward off sleep for even the most lethargic of the trainees. No doubt Jaan couldn’t sleep either, because Andi knew Jaan would be worried about whether or not he and Andi would be in the same unit together.

Enjoying the extra time time to relax but hating the wait for the final exam, Andi let his mind wander towards thoughts about his cousin’s possible state of mind. Knowing Jaan, he would be trying to think of a way to find out how he could possibly be assigned to at least the same division as Andi, and then he would be devising a plan to still help his cousin.

Andi let himself smile a little. He knew that Jaan wouldn’t be able to even match Andi’s scores. During the past few months, Andi had discovered a brain he didn’t realize he had. He proved himself in tests where command was the role. He showed an intuition in combat tactics that surprised even a few of the instructors. Of course, Andi had no real idea of what Jaan might be capable of, either. There was always the chance that Jaan had been scoring just as good if not better than Andi. Regardless, though, Andi knew that he would do just fine in the HDGA, and that Jaan’s fears were unjustified.

Granted, Andi did not have much skill in the way of actual combat. His aim with a rifle was mediocre at best, and despite the intense physical conditioning, he wasn’t capable of the same things as some of the other recruits. In spite of these faults, an instructor had pulled Andi aside one day and told him that some of the HDGA’s top general’s were confined to hoverchairs and life support systems, so he needn’t worry about being the top performer in physical activities if he continued proving himself mentally. This knowledge kept Andi going whenever he felt he wasn’t meeting the same standard as everyone else.

Once the sun was halfway over the horizon, the front door of the long hall opened up and a single drill instructor stepped in. He had a somber expression on his face instead of the usual hard look.

“Ladies and gentlemen, your time to shine has risen with the sun. Please, get dressed quickly.”

There was a moment of pause. No one was moving. The drill instructors of the past few months had never once used the word “please,” nor did they ever enter the sleeping quarters without yelling and pulling people out of their beds.

Obviously, the instructor this time could tell what was going through their minds. “Yes, it’s true, I’m being nice to you. Starting today all of you will become true soldiers in the HDGA. Where you will end up and what you will accomplish are facts yet to be decided, but as of now both myself and the other instructors here consider you lot to be one of us.”

A female recruit by the name of Jerissa, a person which Andi recognized, stepped forward and gave the instructor a hard look. “Oh, we’re one of you now, are we? Then, please, apologize for degrading your comrades so thoroughly as you have done during the past few months.”

Jerissa raised her hand as if to slap the drill instructor, but a man behind her grabbed her wrist before she could follow through. Andi noticed it was Plith.

“Jerissa, striking someone superior in rank is a serious offense. Even though we haven’t had the ceremony yet, if what he says is true then that means right now you are considered a private. Seeing as how he is a sergeant, slapping him would most likely get you into trouble. He might be docile now, but that’s probably just because he wanted to be a bit nice to us for a change. I’m sure if you broke the rules he wouldn’t hesitate to report you.”

Jerissa looked at Plith indignantly and pulled her arm from his grasp. She turned to her would-be victim and stared firmly. The instructor had a mixed look of confusion and amusement. He was at least a head taller than Jerissa, so no doubt a mild physical attack like a slap probably wouldn’t have phased him. Nevertheless, it both confused and amused him that she thought he deserved a slap.

“I see. Well, I can empathize with your discomfort here, as I was once a trainee like yourself. But I won’t apologize. Every recruit goes through this, and it is a necessary step to turn them into soldiers. You should listen to Private Plith here, Private Jerissa.” He stressed Jerissa’s rank enough so she might notice it.

“Hmph. I understand just fine, sir. I understand that for me all of this wasn’t necessary. I plan to have my uncle transfer me to an administrative position in the Hiflinn system or maybe the Frila system, where I can spend my generous amounts of leisure time enjoying warm beaches and relaxing messages.” Jerissa turned and shoved her shoulder into Plith as she walked away.

Most of the recruits who were standing around watching the spectacle were not sure how to react. It was common knowledge that Jerissa was the great-niece of a 4 star general in the HDGA, but up until now she had never so openly admitted her plans to use his influence. Andi wasn’t really surprised, as Jerissa had always given him the impression that she felt she was better than everyone else. She hadn’t openly complained about her disdain of the training process; at least, no more than the average recruit did. At first Andi thought she was either very tough or was hiding something, and this recent spectacle proved that his latter suspicion was true.

The instructor spoke, with a huge grin on his face, to break the tension. “Don’t worry, I’m not angry. In fact, I like it when a woman is feisty and plays hard to get.”

There was some awkward, scattered laughter at the instructor’s lewd and suggestive joke, but for the most part everyone’s anxiety eased away. In the past there would have been group wide punishment for such an outburst. Thankfully, though, it seemed the instructor was in a good mood and was being lenient for the day.

He turned to Plith and quietly spoke, “Private Plith, you do understand that the rule of striking someone of superior rank only really applies to ranking officers, right? In the bigger picture, our ranks really aren’t that different.”

Plith nodded and gave a discreet thumbs up. “I know, but Jerissa doesn’t.”

The instructor chuckled, and then raised his voice for everyone to hear. “Alright, listen up, maggots! This will be the last order I will be giving you as your instructor. You have fifteen minutes to report to the center of the compound.”

Abruptly turning around on his heel, the instructor left the building without another word. The silence from the recruits broke into relaxed chatter, and everyone started getting dressed into their formal uniforms. Plith came over and started talking to Andi.

“I’m feeling optimistic about today’s tests. How about you?”

Andi broke into a large smile. “Optimistic? Plith, that’s all you feel? I feel like my stomach is going to empty itself at any moment now.”

“Hey, I feel nervous too, but it’s not like we can fail these tests, you know.”

Plith did have a point. These tests were not designed to determine winners. Those who were not going to make it were already weeded out and sent home by this point. The tests everyone was about to take were for deciding who went where and what they were going to do.

After getting dressed, the soon-to-be-soldiers of group 5 were unsure of how to proceed getting to their destination. Every morning since arriving here they had all left by standing in five columns of twenty recruits each, but they only marched outside when asked to do so. Today, there was no drill instructor frothing at mouth telling them to move their asses.

Andi was a bit shocked. Obviously, they couldn’t just meander towards their objective like a herd of livestock. Andi thought to himself that this must be one of the effects of being trained to follow orders like a domesticated animal. Until your master speaks, you have no idea what to do. The instructors must have realized this, so why did they leave the group unsupervised? Why didn’t the instructor stand and wait until everyone was ready?

An idea came to Andi immediately after he started thinking. What if this was the first test? Sometimes in battle a soldier or group of soldiers might lose contact with their commander. This wouldn’t mean, though, that the soldier was then free to do whatever he or she wanted. No, the objective still needed to be completed. If the soldier was alone, then following the last given order was what needed to be done. If the soldier was part of a larger group which was cut off, then the highest ranking soldier present would take command. However, in this case there was no soldier which outranked the others. In cases like this, although extremely rare in actual combat, it was down to whoever was the most respected among the soldiers to take the lead.

Andi took a deep breath. Clearly this was a test to prove who would had natural leadership skills and who didn’t. Andi, despite his on-paper aptitude for leadership, wasn’t exactly someone who people naturally gravitated towards. He certainly hadn’t made any enemies among the men and women of group 5, but neither could he be considered good friends with everyone. More than that, he did have a slight fear of public speaking, and seeing as how there were 99 other soldiers in group 5 Andi was definitely nervous about his idea.

Nevertheless, Andi was determined to prove himself. If he could show up to the testing area with the group in tow, no doubt the instructors would be impressed and only good things would happen.

Working his way to the front from the back of the five rows of twenty, Andi stood in front of the group and raised his voice. “Alright! Everyone! Get in line! We’ll march out of here on my order!”

The slight buzzing chatter from the recruits debating with each other abated, and almost all of them turned to look at Andi. Some, such as Plith, decided to listen and stood at attention immediately. Others, such as Jerissa, weren’t sure what was happening and seemed skeptical, but eventually fell in line. A few, though, approached Andi with nasty looks on their faces. One them was a man named Mavoke, a recruit who was easily the strongest and quite possibly the ugliest soldier in group 5 and was something of a leader in his own way, though his followers were mostly followers out of fear than respect.

Mavoke approached Andi and stood directly in front of him. He was at least a head and a half taller than Andi, so he was quite intimidating. “Oh? What’s this then? We’re gonna leave on your order? And why’s that, huh?”

Andi did his best to remain calm. It wasn’t in his best interest to react in a way that would cause the other soldiers to lose respect in him. All he really needed was the majority of the other soldiers to consent to his leadership, and then hopefully the opposing minority would follow anyways. Andi figured that this was a good way of solidifying his newfound position.

“Because, Mavoke, we can’t just walk out of here like headless cattle. Someone needs to take the lead in this absence of definitive leadership.”

Mavoke stared at Andi for a moment, seeming to be processing Andi’s words. Andi regretted speaking aloud that last part, as even an idiot like Mavoke could understand that this might be some kind of test set in place after being told as much.

Laughing heartily, Mavoke slapped his chest a few times. “Well, how about I take the lead? A leader needs to be strong and confident, after all, and you certainly aren’t the strongest man here, though I will give you credit for having the guts to step up like this.”

Andi nodded. If he could keep Mavoke happy while also proving him wrong, Andi would be able to take the lead without interference. “You are right, Mavoke. A leader needs to be strong and confident. However, the strength of a leader is not necessarily physical, and is shown, not on his or her body, but in their will. And confidence isn’t the same thing as arrogance. An arrogant person sees only his strength and overestimates it, and makes decisions on impulse, where as a confident person knows their strengths and weaknesses and makes realistic decisions based on both of those things. I was able to stand up and take the lead because I had the will to do it, and I first examined whether or not I would be able to. If I felt inadequate, I would have simply hung back until someone else took the lead. However, I stood up and took the lead because I feel I am worthy of the role, and I am now defending myself because I feel you are not.”

Most of the recruits standing in line were audibly impressed with Andi’s response to Mavoke, though Mavoke didn’t seem as pleased. He may have been dull-witted when compared to Andi, but he certainly was sharp enough to see that he was being called a fool. Still, he couldn’t exactly argue with Andi, and Andi knew that. At least, he thought he knew that. Mavoke crossed his arms and started speaking.

“Alright, I get it. You think you’re a better person for the role of leader than I am. However, by your logic, if I say that I feel that I’m better for the position than you, than that must mean I am. Therefore, step aside and let me lead.”

Andi cringed on the inside. Mavoke seemed to have a knack for being insightful when it was least convenient. He needed to salvage the situation as best as he could before it slipped away from him entirely. The problem was figuring out how to do so. He couldn’t take long to formulate a plan, so Andi decided to stop thinking and start talking before Mavoke made another move.

“Yes, I suppose by my logic you are also fit for the role of leadership. However, remember that it has been my logic which gave you the idea to assume leadership in the first place. Clearly, you are only smart enough to see what can benefit you and only you.

“Now, yes,” Andi continued, “you could perhaps say that I too am only thinking of how to benefit myself. After all it was my intention to take the role of the leader so as to impress the instructors once we reach the exterior of the testing facility. But also consider the fact that I recognized we would be in trouble if we simply stayed here. Obviously, I’m not a popular guy among the rest of the recruits. It wasn’t as if I stepped up for task to lead my friends and to keep them from getting in trouble. No, I did it because a good leader does right by his followers, even if they themselves do not like him.”

Mavoke was clearly skeptical of Andi’s speech. Andi kept a serious face, as if that truly was his intention the entire time. Mavoke, on the other hand, had an almost disgusted look on his face, as if he could smell the bullshit Andi had spouted. He stroked his chin and scratched his stubble thoughtfully.

Mavoke seemed to have come to a conclusion and snorted. He raised his arm and Andi held back a flinch, but Mavoke lower his hand slowly but firmly onto Andi’s shoulder. Leaning in, Mavoke whispered.

“You disgust me. You sound exactly like the men back on my home planet who were in charge. They gave long speeches that made it sound like they were doing everything for our benefit, when really they were doing what they did for their own profit. Still, we never suffered like some do on other planets, and when war came the leaders were effective at keeping things mostly intact. It was obvious that they at least knew that they needed us to keep them in power, and if they were to lose us somehow they would lose their wealth and power. In the end, they protected us like a dragon protects its treasure. I hated them, and I hate you for reminding me of them, but I also can’t help but respect you for that fact.”

Mavoke released his grip on Andi’s shoulder and spoke more clearly, so that everyone else could hear it. “I don’t like you Reeth, but I’ll follow your lead to the compound. I’ll also put anyone in line who steps up to challenge your leadership.”

With that last bit, Mavoke turned to the assembled group and gave an intimidating glare. He and his friends left the front and found another place in line. The rest of the group seemed to have already decided that whoever won the argument was going to be the leader, so there were no more challengers. Plith, who had been watching but clearly ready to defend Andi if the need arose, gave Andi one of his signature discreet thumbs-up.

Andi turned away from the group and allowed himself a small smile. This victory was going to be one of many more. He pressed the open button on the sealed door, and when the searing heat hit Andi’s face, he barked out an order.

“Move out!”